crapcrapcrap

2008-10-06T00:31:00.002+08:00

hello world.

it's been an obscenely long time since i returned here.

and ironically enough, im only here to tell everyone that i've moved to

http://appellatives.livejournal.com

yeap. for the few of you who still come here once in a blue moon,
you can go there to view my posts.

do drop a comment whenever you do yeah.

goodbye blogger.

2008-06-12T23:46:00.002+08:00

friendly today was ~ok~.
(we kinda underperformed i think?)

but i felt very lousy.
i gotta gotta gotta get used to playing center too.

jh's right, i gotta be versatile.

a part of me wished i played my usual forward today.
and the other part is glad i didn't.

'cause now i know how much more i gotta work on my play as a center.

bah. it's been one heck of a horrible week.

2008-06-12T01:02:00.002+08:00

been on a hiatus over the past few weeks.
many things have happened.

Last week of school

was pretty exciting. not to mention i (almost) completely lost all interest in the lessons and tutorials. just really wanted to go watch all the matches. haha.
one thing though, watching all the matches got me really excited about my own season, our own season. i bet the guys feel the same way too.

birthday

was pretty well spent =)
started out with training in the morning. the guys celebrated my birthday after that. was really not expecting it, until i saw yc and joe (i think) preparing the cake. lol. almost surprised my there. but they were really damn nice. and edward sacrificed his only ayden bandana as the letter thing. pretty darn nice of him. today i finally managed to find a clean ayden bandana. shall pass it to him tmr. oh the guys got me a flowery overgrip too. -.-... im sure i'll use it. somehow. lunched with them too.
i think our guys team is becoming a second family. we really spent alot of time either hanging out, or training. hmmmm..

anyways after that was gelare with the walrus. was really great =) spent half the time eating and the other half in shock after openning the present. lol. i think those of you who know would understand why i was so incredibly pleasantly shocked. thks love =)

and after that we managed to hike our way to some hotel for dinner with the family. was nice and simple.

went for a stroll and for drinks along clarke quay after that. i think it was a great way to wrap up the day =)

haha forgive me for ranting so much abt the birthday. only happens once a yr =P
oh and thks very very much to all of you out there for your wishes =D
really means alot to me. thks!

Friendly match with NJ

was ok. kinda agree with yan that we completely died out after the first period. we have a long way to go. where we're at now, we'll never smell victory.

Camp

was generally good. almost everything went out according to what was planned. i reckon most of us enjoyed it. very beneficial too. with all that philip taught us and talked to us about, we all finally realise how pathetic we are and how much more effort we must put in. lol. but im sure everyone agrees on the same thing, we're all gonna give it our best. i'm sure we'll get it right soon.

that about wraps up the past 3 weeks?
i think i did miss out some stuff, but i probably cant remember it now. haha oh well.

anyways friendly match against IJ tmr. hmmmm. better go sleep.

2008-05-21T00:18:00.002+08:00

i wanna get lost in your rock and roll

i think people stay in love because they're afraid no one else will ever love them.

haha nah. not really.

and somehow love makes you accept people.
no matter how retarded, silly, fat, weird, noisy, bitchy, short, unglam, fat, fickle, fat, whinny, or fat they are.

i mean people, in general.
could be anyone out there.

but that's besides the point

2008-05-17T01:16:00.002+08:00

over the past few days, i've come to learn that winning isn't everything.

doing your best is really what counts.
sometimes your best is not good enough.
sometimes it never will be.

but at the end of the day, we only have ourselves to answer too.
and i think if you really have done your best, then there is nothing to regret.
nothing to be utterly upset about.

i really feel that all the sports teams have done so well.
champions or not, they're winners one way or another.

kudos to them

2008-05-14T00:59:00.002+08:00

tonight i've fallen and i can't get up,
i need your loving hands to come and pick me up;
and every night i miss you i can just look up,
and know the stars are holding you, holding you, holding you tonight.

a chorus to last you the night.

haha i promised nad i'll learn to play this song.
hmm..haven't gotten down to it though. :P
maybe i will soon.

night all.

ps: no i'm not feeling emo. -.-...

2008-05-14T00:43:00.002+08:00

what the hell
is going on.

i really think everyone's going overboard with all that teasing.
i guess it's a "spur of the moment" thing. it'll die down.

but i mean come on man, let's face it.

it's
just
not
possible.

training today was not bad.
switched lines, but managed to play ~ok~ (still quite bad)
lol john called today i gold rush for me.
i didn't count.

i still wanna play with my dear line two though.
sounds gay but it's quite nice playing with them.
gotten used to all their styles.

sov ytd, haven't uploaded the photos though.

oh well. the next few days are gonna be so very pack.
hopefully i'll be drowned in the euphoria.
sure'd beat whatever i've got now.

2008-04-28T00:54:00.002+08:00

friendster's been putting me off for two reasons.

1. people who don't even know me start sending me "smiles" or msges or view the profile (still ok)
i am SURE i don't know them 'cause i definitely do not recognise the half naked pictures they use for their profile photo.

2. all these people are men.

how in the world am i supposed to react to some half naked guy across the planet asking me to be friends, or sending me smiles?

thank God for facebook.

2008-04-20T21:30:00.002+08:00

it's gonna be our best year.

only 2 starting lines.
2 forwards, 4 centers, 2 defenders.

2 spots, 6 players.

i think i'm pretty screwed now.
especially after yesterday.

2008-04-07T00:32:00.001+08:00

sign of a close friend:

::fran:: I don't care what they say says:
this is really random but you're the only one that understands

all at once says:
yes, that is true

all at once says:
go on
::fran:: I don't care what they say says:
my parents locked their bedroom

::fran:: I don't care what they say says:
:D

Gosh francis. first thing you tell me after being MIA for months. lol. eh if you're seeing this, lets hang out soon.

2008-03-27T00:15:00.003+08:00

this has been a bad week so far.

disappointed about some stuff i found out abt someone on monday.

tuesday i overslept (understatement)

wednesday i was greatly, greatly disappointed with the match and our own training thereafter.

sometimes, we step up and show concern for others even though we're going through shit too.
most of the time it's never really appreciated.
why then do we still continue to care?

because all men are inherently good?
or is it because we realise that if we don't, a vicious cycle will start, and soon no one will care about anyone at all?

is it this kind of fear that drives us?
or a genuine ounce of love and concern?

2008-03-16T01:40:00.003+08:00

today was pretty alright.

woke up early for odac's event.

they gave all the volunteer's this nice cool shirt.

road marshalling was pretty ok. thankfully i had a shady tree for company.

on the way back i thought i saw sth.

but i realised my eyes were just playing tricks on me.

really hate it when that happens.

2008-03-14T23:23:00.002+08:00

so today's match was much better. though we still have tonnes to work on.

and i agree with the rest, today isn't really a good gauge of ourselves.

bloody hell stupid player went to trip me with the stick.
not to mention taking kicks at my ankle.

really pissed off. but at least i got my assists. (i have almost never succeeded in assisting ever.)

haha i suck bad man. looks like i gonna start reading some floorball sutra or sth.

2008-03-14T00:47:00.002+08:00

today was really a bad day.

played really really pathetically. and i think yan's right, it is our own fault. no excuses.

really hope tmr will be much much better. today is a good wake up call.

on the brighter side was kinda happy the vipers pulled off a win.
they really wanted it. and i think today was a good one for them cause it was the morale booster that they really needed.

been raining heavily over the past few days. no idea why. today makes it 4 days in a row.

2008-03-13T00:05:00.003+08:00

i've been putting off posting for a very very long time.

haha ok i'm finally gonna get down to it.

lots of things have happened since like jan 28th. but i guess there's not much point in talking about it now..

elects' camp ended today. i think it was a really good 3 days spent.
its been so very long that i almost forgot how much great fun i have with the 24ths, and the brotherhood. all those shitass jokes and the crazy out of tune singing really made everything just so warm and fun.

for the first time in 4 yrs i was a senior. it felt 100% different from before. and at this point i really do understand how many of thr previous councillors felt. maybe its one of those "you have to be in it" kinda thing and it's just not something that anyone can describe.

really happy for my elects group too. think they really did well and have really come so far to their current standard.

i can't believe that my council term's gonna end in less than 2 months.
i've spent the last 3 yrs in it, and i really cant imagine that 2months is all i have left.
really sad.

i would've thought that i'd be sick of all this by now.
now i find myself hoping that it'll last longer.

really counter-intuitive.

guess it's just one of those things that will never make sense,
like the HSP.

off now. got 2 friendly matches over the next two days.
not to mention helping out for the ip match tmr too.
i think i'm making a mountain out of a molehill.

2008-01-28T00:01:00.000+08:00

funny how my last post was on christmas and it didnt sound very merry,

and how my subsequent post (this one)
isnt going to be very happy either.

haha, its not that i lead a dead sad life.
just so happened that when i have the time to blog,
it's mostly because i need an avenue to rant.

granted i will try harder to make happy post.

parents out for the week.
supposed to be a good thing but somehow i reckon that i won't have the time to enjoy it one bit.

i think we should e more serious for trainings.
i lost it that day, really apologise.

i think we should see the difference between trying and failing,
and not trying at all.
in the end we do fail, but we can't fault those who tried.

i got one thing to ponder over the next few days (other than my IS),
at what point in time does taking a step forward bring you two steps back?

cause i'm reaching it, and i need a way out.

2007-12-25T13:27:00.000+08:00

just spent 3 hours sitting in front of the tv

wat a great start to my christmas

hoho

2007-12-19T00:29:00.000+08:00

sigh friendster is getting so weird.

this screwed up guy called mark or sth viewed my profile

i mean that's fine..

but then i saw his picture, and like wat the fuck.

try looking at a picture of a dick and not be put off.

omg..... all this scary shit.

and im not starting abt the gay ppl yet.

though i noticed one thing, they all have pictures of cars.
maybe gays have things in common after all.

im not against gays.

i just dun like it when they start flashing their cocks all around friendster.

sigh.

sry for the crude post

2007-12-18T23:10:00.000+08:00

sigh hate being sick.

today alone i missed out on the council bonding plus training.

this is really bad.

havent gone out in ages.

2007-12-16T00:18:00.000+08:00

omg i'm such a loser.

ostriches DONT HAVE CROWNS people.

i might show you wat i mean soon.

HIGHLY embarrassing

2007-12-15T01:26:00.000+08:00

got back not too long ago.

had orientation meeting this morning. had to wake up damn early though i slept so darn late.

was a zombie the whole day. went home, slept abit, then headed for band concert.

john knew i would be late, so he came to pick me up. lol!

after the concert the two of us plus matthias and steph went to settlers.

played 2 game there. haha was fun.

i think i'm really gonna try to get my licence asap.

driving is really a priviledge.

oh well.

relatively a good day

2007-12-13T01:40:00.000+08:00

this facebook thing is really quite surprisingly fun.

lol.

thankfully it allows you to add like your friends from your email contact list.

so i've got 100sth friends now! haha. how convenient.

then again like the other half or more of my contact list does not have facebook.

which is unexpected cause i would've thought that everyone would have facebook by now.

OH WELL.

julian says facebook is a novelty that will die out soon enough for me.

who knows? but looking at the rate other things have been for me, i'd say he's fairly accurate.

i dunno why im letting it get to me.

but anyways we decided a long time ago.
we'd go separate ways.

except, maybe it wasnt a decision either of us wanted

2007-12-12T01:04:00.000+08:00

so many many things have been happening lately.

SDD (which went pretty welll)

post prom (alex turned out to be one of the bartenders)

sleepless night (hung out with many different groups of people on sdd night)

i realised that ip has given us all the chance to get to know many seniors.
though it kinda sucks too.
cause people always leave.

the more people you know, the more you have to say goodbye.

moving on from that.

training's been good.

well other than the stupid fall i took (which got my lower back and neck injured)

i guess it's still ok cause i can still play and all..

except i cant do any sprinting or running for that matter.
it hurts alot.

oh and i've finally gotten facebook (applause please)

haha after so many persuasions i've decided to get it.

oh well it seems interesting.

DAMN RETARDED.

i can throw sheep at you!

watch out!

2007-12-09T23:58:00.003+08:00

oh yes i've lost it.

but it's ok.

i'll find it back,
on my own.

2007-12-09T23:36:00.000+08:00

argh.

wat do you want me to do?

stop it alright. i'm at my wit's end.

2007-12-02T01:14:00.000+08:00

i just wanted to show why kh is :), as steph has so nicely put.

haha. gotta be one of the best games i've ever played. good plot, great design and gameplay.

oh well!

in other news sdd is this wed! everything is falling in nicely!

today nadia completely embarrassed me in front of alot of ppl.

i don't know if i will ever forgive her.

and finally, one thing that i find comfort in,
we're looking up at the same night sky.

oh well. i hope KIAMS is a success. we'll see tmr!

2007-11-26T00:33:00.000+08:00

after the cable ski on friday, everything felt fine.

after the short shower, it actually felt quite warm and relaxing.

as it approached the evening, the aches started to act up.

by the night, i knew for sure that they were gonna hurt.

saturday morning, i felt like i got beaten up.

saturday night, still couldn't turn my head, couldn't reach my back pocket
(with ease,i mean)

sunday morning, neck felt much better, which is more than i can say for everything else.

sunday night, not much improvement.

training tmr morning. even IF i recover fully (no way), i'll only waking up on tuesday morning with aches (again) thks to monday's training.

it's like i love feelin pain or sth.

2007-11-24T19:30:00.000+08:00

how does it feel, taking all that you have been blessed with, and throwing it all away?

so now you sit there contemplating. hoping that you'll find the answer.

and as you ponder, you realise that more than anything, you're hoping that someone'll come and save you first.

you realise that you can't find the answer on your own.

2007-11-23T20:45:00.000+08:00

forgive me if i stutter,
from all of the clutter in my head.

been a crazy week.

tuesday training in the morning. sdd meeting/outing till 5?
then it was a nice dinner.

wednesday had to meet the hotel person along with the lightings guy.

thursday was training in the morning plus another sdd related meeting.
went around looking for dresses for bidina with their clique. was kinda funny. haha.
and after that was time well spent with good dinner.

and then friday was the cable ski thing.
incredibly fun stuff.
but incredibly tiring too. not to mention hard. haha.

after today i've come to respect those ppl who wake board alot. haha.

dead tired.

my forearms have two colours now. red and white.

my face is red though

2007-11-21T00:20:00.000+08:00

over the last 2 weeks i've had two very queer/interesting job offers on friendster.

hmm.. really have no idea whether or not its some fake thing.

then again they left their numbers.

oh bother. i probably have no time for a job.

r paper rules my life now.

and on top of giving my al for trainings i realise my "rest days" are now sdd days.

and if not they are og days.

so should i get a job?

2007-11-17T02:43:00.000+08:00

was too darn sick on monday so i didnt go for training. so i absolutely missed jt's update that yan's gonna start coaching us again.

so i went down to valhall on thurs (still dying of throat infection) only to meet michelle and anil on the bus.

then they told me abt it.

i was kinda surprised at first (due to previous discussions and stuff)

but bottomline it felt really good that yan is back.

haha. so i tahan-ed training and sucked it up. lol.

not that i managed to do much anyways.

really amazed at dennis and jh. lol. even edward. they got used to the curve so darn fast.

i'm still like miles away.

but it's ok. i will keep practicing.

went to watch the friendly.

they are really in a class of their own man. the goals were so clear cut and all.

fast, powerful, decisive.

so friday was spent on meetings.

before i could even rest up, had to get up from my bed and head to school.

and then it was the og outing thing.

shiangnee has loads of little shiangnee stickers. i got one from her. it's a really cute duckling.

decided to paste it somewhere safe. all the stickers on my wallet/phone have either been magically removed or ripped off by me.

on thursday i had a free suanning session again (woah thks guys)

apparently its a sin to care for my beloved stick (which by the way i havent found a name for her yet)

and yes dennis every so kindly compliments my fantastic passing.

oh well. at least my decoy run was..unexpected.

2007-11-13T00:40:00.000+08:00

here i go,
so dishonestly leave a note.
for you my only one.

and i know,
you can see right through me.
so let me go,
and you will find someone..

i don't wanna miss another training cause of this freaking illness.

i don't want you feeling the way you do now.

i don't like knowing there's nothing i can do, for you

2007-11-12T01:15:00.000+08:00

yesterday was julian's confirmation.

so he's finally an adult catholic now. haha.

met up with some people that i haven't seen in some time.
everyone seems to be doing well. haha

oh well.

i think i'm sick now.
hope i'll get better by training.

i'll head to sch in any case.
just wanna be there

vj floorball all the way.

woo
hoo..

2007-11-10T01:20:00.000+08:00

it's times like these,
that i know the truth.

the problem with having everything,
is that you're completely lost when it's gone.
so treasure what you got my dear,
'cause it won't be there forever.

no matter how much you hold onto something,
it always slips away.

julian's comfirmation tmr.
lol. so very proud of him

2007-11-09T22:42:00.000+08:00

time for some recollection i guess

pw is over. haha.
087 had this like thank you mass convy thing.

i think in the end, our pw group has really been the group i'm so very happy with.
i wouldn't have it any other way!

haha we came back from being the crisis WR group to the not so bad OP group.
literally had to change our whole event 2 weeks before the dateline. lol!

ah well it has been a great deal of fun.

had the class outing to senotsa the other day too,
well only 8 when. but i guess it's still considered a class thing!

was pretty fun, not to mention tiring.

we should have a class chalet. now that would be fun.

2007-11-08T23:48:00.000+08:00

the problem of assuming,
is that if you're wrong,
then the misunderstanding is huge.

and everything is not always what it seems.
because you never know the truth beneath the lies.

and i realise, this is as relevant to me,
as it is to you

2007-11-07T01:23:00.000+08:00

sometimes you just start off on the right path.

you were lucky,
are.

but what happens when you start to get tempted to go wayward?

maybe you know it's the wrong thing,
but somehow you just want to do it anyway.

2007-11-06T23:17:00.000+08:00

now i know why.

because its not that it's hard,

but that there're tonnes of idiots who don't wanna cooperate.

they're just in it for the fun.

2007-11-03T01:27:00.000+08:00

you always want what you can't have,

but i've got to try.

i'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have,
for you i will

2007-10-31T23:24:00.000+08:00

well, is this the night where everyone suddenly decides to turn 180 and frustrate me to hell?

cause it sure as hell seems better planned that any organised crime i know.

2007-10-30T23:03:00.000+08:00

oh,
why'd you look so sad

2007-10-30T01:39:00.000+08:00

'cause maybe,
i wanna be the one that saves you.

and through it all,
i hope you never fall.

2007-10-29T13:46:00.000+08:00

so saturaday was like mahjong at yirui's.

was kinda surprised that BEN & DARREN havent learnt their lessons.
at least darren wasnt there. haha.

anyways after that was dinner at mr goh's. nice place that he has.

was really fun meeting up with all the 22nds after so very long.

played taboo and just chatted alot.

oh got a gift from john. haha.

2007-10-23T00:13:00.000+08:00

I remember the times we spent together
All those drives, we had a million questions
All about our lives
And when we got to New York everything felt right
I wish you were here with me,
Tonight

I remember the days we spent together,
were not enough, it used to feel like dreaming
Except we always woke up,
Never thought not having you here now
Would hurt so much

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I remember the time you told me
About when you were eight
And all those things you said that night
That just couldn't wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
And the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
And stayed out way too late

I remember the time you sat and told me
About your Jesus, and how not to look back
Even if no one believes us
When it hurts so bad, sometimes
Not having you here

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I say
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

i'll learn the chords soon nadia. lol.

and happy b'day jingxuan!

2007-10-14T23:29:00.000+08:00

oh yes and saturday was the class party thing at may's.

i think the most enjoyable part was the sing-a-long and beach walk.

sounds v primary sch.

i wish i knew how to play the guitar man.

i think it's like an investment. it will really pay off in the future.

beach walk was nice,

really.

maybe now it's not about commitment,
maybe it's about trying new things,
and seeing if they work out.

because if they do, then you know it really wasn't meant to be.

if they don't, then you'll know for sure that it is meant to be.
and knowing something like that, is enough to last you a lifetime.

2007-10-14T23:22:00.000+08:00

i'm down to two sticks again.

if not for my curve it would've been one.

i'm still kinda new with the curve though.
not very used to it.

and the guy was right. the curve shoots way high.

but i think it is pretty powerful.

currently slightly disappointed with irule. the control is not as much as i expected. maybe its due to the curve.

ok, its definitely due to the curve.

the curve's my new stick, it is literally curved.

irule's my blade.

i'll upload the pictures one day.

2007-10-10T01:39:00.000+08:00

sometimes not knowing what you're thinking makes you more interesting.

sometimes not knowing what to say makes me wanna try harder.

sometimes not knowing what you're hiding makes me curious.

sometimes not knowing so, so much makes me care less.

maybe the best words don't come to you.
but i don't need that.

all i need is for you to try,
so that i can be sure that i'm not trying in vain.

2007-10-10T01:00:00.000+08:00

you always want what you can't have.

it's really like temptation.

2007-10-01T22:53:00.000+08:00

and even while you pursue perfection,
it's important to bear in mind

that you are in no position to demand it.

2007-10-01T20:34:00.000+08:00

so we played floorball today again. like the first time in a long time.

my stick is so completely screwed up.

i think it was pretty hilarious how the stick is now. ah well.

ok promos, i guess it was ok lah. in all honesty i guess retaining won't be such a bad thing. haha.

over the study period i think i learnt to play "i'm yours" faster than i took to learn how to integrate, draw energy cycles (which i still don't know how), understand parabolic motions, and understand what a command system is.

nevermind.

i can't believe that i lost joy.

it's like my biggest love. my deepest.

and i lost it just like that.

sigh.

2007-09-22T23:28:00.001+08:00

i wish you and all the others would get a life.

and stop judging on a superficial level.

it just makes you very disappointing.

2007-09-22T20:58:00.001+08:00

joy's gone.

heart's broken.

bah.

2007-09-19T22:06:00.000+08:00

i've added a tag board since its supposed to be a given requirement in most blogs.

updates. celebrated jt and kelly's b'days with a some TESTIMONIAL MATCH thing at valhall.

sounds retarded but was really very fun.

bought an irule blade that day too.

Z-O-M-G i must say the turning and control of the blade is pretty darn goood.

havent really had a goal to shoot at so i guess i cant comment.

and the on everyone asks - air hooking.

lol. many ppl say its like the air hook blade. but professional analyst (dennis wong) disagrees. kinda. he was kinda saying abt how the new evo3 hook would be even better for air hooking. and i agree. haha

it's not that its impossible for air hook with the irule. its actually pretty good, and i just barely made an achievement today (there, back, and shot). anyways practice counts.

ok nvm. physics spa tmr. gtg.

maybe you're the answer,
but i haven't asked the question.

2007-09-17T01:07:00.000+08:00

ok my blog has returned.

and it looks so much better all thanks to ms KADJE and ms DREA.

thank you very much.

i'll update tmr. maybe

2007-09-02T01:00:00.000+08:00

teachers' day was pretty good. the videos were funny, the performances were great.

yirui was emcee.

so anyways it's been a hell of a week. but it's a good start, considering wats coming up soon.

today my godmother told me a story.

there was this taxi driver who went to the doctor for a checkup.

so unfortunately it turned out that the guy had liver cancer.

doctor told him he only had 3 months.

the taxi driver thanked him

puzzled, the doctor said, " but you're going to die. why are you thanking me? "

driver, " because very few people can actually know how much thime they have before they have to leave."

i realise that so often we take it for granted, so often we don't bother doing the important things.

telling someone you love them, telling someone they made a difference in your life, making someone's day, helping someone from their problems, saving a life.

the driver knew he had many things he had to do, many things he'd taken for granted, many things he didnt want to leave undone before he died.

whether he spent the three months doing them, i do not know.

maybe he lived longer

maybe he was a procrastinator like me and died anyways.

i guess the point is,

if you died right now (touch wood), would you regret never doing those important things?

maybe it's impossible to do everything you wanna do.
maybe it's hard to tell someone just how much you love them.

but maybe all we have to do is start trying.

i guess the fine line that separates this post from sth emo, is the fact that it's something more philosophical then emotional.

then again half the time i have no idea.

2007-08-21T21:56:00.000+08:00

if i could ask you just one question today.

how long would you wait, for the love of your life?

maybe the problem's not waiting,

it's knowing who he is.

or she.

2007-08-20T23:49:00.000+08:00

it is really damn screwed up when you suddenly discover sth.

and looking back you wished you'd known/seen it earlier.

while she tried so hard to hide,
all the pain she felt inside,
she gave up on what they could be,
just so he would never see.

alone they lie in bed at night,
their eyes always opened wide.
but over time their love had died,
and he never got to be by her side.

you must not let ath stop you.

cheerios.

2007-08-19T22:43:00.001+08:00

scrubs and house are real good.

the kinda humour is pretty good

2007-08-19T22:38:00.001+08:00

ai-yaye-yaye.

laugh it off. really.

bah.

2007-08-19T19:35:00.000+08:00

ah haha.

someone's gotta coin a word for this feeling.

and everyone's gonna look back and laugh.

2007-08-19T03:32:00.000+08:00

i have finally done what i have to, to the people that i know deserve it.

and while i will never change your minds on religion, beliefs, opinions, bias, and hatred towards the political system,

all i am offering is a perspective that is unlike yours.

you need only to ask.

and while misunderstandings tear relationships apart,

it is the lack of clarification, the indifference, the stubbornness

that ultimately bear the highest cost.

i know i have always tried to ressolve the misunderstndings. any maybe even one of you can vouch for me.

but have you ever bothered to do so? even now?

2007-08-19T02:14:00.000+08:00

and while the ironic thing is that it's all unnecessary,

sth tells me it isnt.

sometimes the easy way out is actually the best way.

and i'll lead my life while you'll lead yours.

cause i dont need you, and you dont need me.

my best friend once told me,

"you had the ability to ruin a person's life in sch, but you lost it while you tried to mellow down and make everyone happy"

he'd be glad to know i'll get it back soon.

i was thrown into politics the moment i stepped in.

so fish, who are you?

2007-08-19T01:50:00.000+08:00

i've been told to control.

all i wanna ask is,

how.

2007-08-18T00:20:00.003+08:00

maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me...

2007-08-17T23:31:00.000+08:00

i need your grace, to remind me to find my own.

i'm wearing out. how much more do you want me to take?

i know that you could come and take it all away.
but if you did, than i'll never become the person you wanted me to be.

i'll hang on, i'll pull through.

cause tired as i am, i know i got you.

and i'll say this for the first time, God be with me.

we'll do it all, everything on our own.

i wanna start a union, where all the tired and lost souls can reside,

where you walk up to a stranger and just rant.

but i'll be the only one there.

would you lie with me and just forget the world...

2007-08-16T23:16:00.000+08:00

so why are you looking out there?

looking all around?

when the one you really need has always been right in front of you.

been with you all along?

you and i both.

2007-08-15T00:04:00.001+08:00

http://ilove07s43.blogspot.com/

hahaha.

and now i'm trying to get back says:
we have only one boss

PW.... HOW? haha says:
cuz i m so in charge

PW.... HOW? haha says:
haha

and now i'm trying to get back says:
HIS MAJESTY

and now i'm trying to get back says:
you dare claim power over his majesty?!

"dirty" Emperor CHEN® says:
fantastic!! 100taels for you..

PW.... HOW? haha says:
i dun dare

and now i'm trying to get back says:
hahaha

PW.... HOW? haha says:
lol

PW.... HOW? haha says:
huang shang is the top most power

and now i'm trying to get back says:

highness

thank you your

pw is wenjun, emperor chen is the one and only reuben

2007-08-13T21:54:00.001+08:00

did you know that a smile could really brighten up someone's day?

all the while he's hurting inside,
for being unable to be by her side

2007-08-12T03:00:00.001+08:00

looking back, i'm kinda amazed at how i could still play floorball on wed after injuring my right hand, left elbow, and both hamstrings during sparring training the day before.

then i'm even more surprised at how i pulled through friday's sparring training, and feeling better after it.

it guess it's all in the mind. how much we push ourselves and how much self pity we decide to have *oh my legs hurt, boohoo*.

then again working (to a reasonable extent) injured muscles does help it to heal faster.

did some research on the bouts list tat day (sadly it's one of the few things i can do, sry kog). its not gonna an easy tournament for me.

kog, i have faith in you.

"eh but for you to coach, you must already be very good what..."

man oh man... in such a sitch, how do you ever say that you're only coaching because there's no one else.

sigh, and even if you say it, they wun believe you.

bloody hell.

but a responsibility has been given, live up to it.

i definitely will.

"last resort"
it's something you're sick of being, but you just cant escape it.

"oh well if there's no one else, just let me know. i dun mind *blah blah blah*"

forget it.

you wouldn't understand.

stones taught me to fly,
love taught me to lie,
life taught me to die,

so it's not hard to fall

2007-08-12T00:49:00.000+08:00

you've got to understand that they're from a totally different league.

that no matter how you try, you'll be different from them.

you have to learn to know your place, and be contented with it.

no more fantasies, no more ideas, no more dreams.

those only serve to delude you.

and no, she's not gonna save you.

on the way down, i almost fell right through..

2007-08-12T00:08:00.000+08:00

so it's ok for a girl to act cute and all, but a sin for a guy to do so.

go figure.

alot of things have been happening lately.

it's easy to get lost in the midst of everything.

anyways was also talking to darren about religion. i realise that despite our usual comments, i tend to have the best converstions on religion with him.

i don't knw wat to say anymore.

so i try and i try...

2007-08-11T03:12:00.000+08:00

it's late at night and it got me thinking again.

there's always so much to do.

we always complain.

but looking back, we put this pressure and work all on ourselves.

right now even if i ignore my studies, i realise that i've a tournament coming up, where i'll be expected to win a medal and be somone else's coach, on the same day.

i could always just slack off and not let it get to me.

but personally i would never allow that.

you've been given a responsibility - live up to it.

then again if you think about it, this proves that we pressure ourselves most of the time.

if i decided to slack, i'm sure i'd feel much better.

i have no idea what i'm saying now, but maybe some people out there would understand.

got a qns though, how many people out there stay up past 3 and start to be all reflective and shit.

decided to use shit cause i use stuff too much.

i'll go blog on the class blog now.

everything's made to be broken

2007-08-09T02:23:00.000+08:00

there will be times when we have this rush of emotions,

this undeniable urge to do sth.

the best thing you can do, is to control and think before you act.

i wish we'd never need to learn from our mistakes.

but then again not everything can be taught without an example to follow.

like how you have to break a person all the way down, in order to build him up again in perfection.

well someone told me that once.

i find myself losing respect for him.

2007-08-04T01:21:00.000+08:00

i should stop feeling this way and thinking too much into things.

i should stop getting so affected,
and just start looking at wat i've already got.

it's getting hard to disguise

2007-07-27T00:04:00.001+08:00

and all i have for lessons tmr is a 2 period chem lecture....

if only there were no rehearsals. bloody hell.

2007-07-22T22:19:00.000+08:00

he's cool 'cause he's a model.

she's cool 'cause she's into wakeboarding.

they're cool 'cause they're different from us, and not in a bad way.

that's essentially it..right?

2007-07-22T01:19:00.000+08:00

the more this drags on, the more i realise how one can be both insensitive and over-sensitve and the same time.

my only question is,

10 yrs down the road, wat would our reactions be to the things we've said and done?

....then again would it even matter?

2007-07-22T00:22:00.000+08:00

cant wait to get a house of my own

2007-07-08T21:48:00.001+08:00

since you're not updating your blog, I SHALL!

floorball season begins tomorrow, and i just wanted to wish you all the best! here's a nice floorball photo. though you cant really see the ball, i like it because its black and white.

and here's another

but this is my favourite floorball photo of all time. i wonder why....

good luck! i'm sure you'll play well :)

love love
XOXO

2007-06-19T00:38:00.000+08:00

ok i just wanna say this once.

im sure everyone has had/seen in shows this like "love at first sight moment"

can happen anywhere, anytime.

eg. oh im on a train and it stops for a moment at say, chinese garden. i see this girl, and our eyes lock.

no words are said, and you feel an affinity to this person. ( like an attraction towards her )

the doors close, train moves. she's still at the station, and you regret not going up to her.

this is different from,

oh im on a train and it stops for a moment at say, chinese garden. i see this girl, and our eyes lock.

no words are said, and you think that the girl is incredibly pretty (hot, whatever).
(yes this is an attraction too. just that now you are attracted TO her.)

the doors close, train moves. she's still at the station, and you regret not going up to her.

you see, one's an affinity, and the other's just "you wanna get laid with her."

sometimes it's hard to tell the difference, especially if you are in that scenario.

the point is, there IS a difference.

anyways, i guess i'm only qualified to use such an eg cause im a guy.

but then again personally, just go up to her if it's that important.

and we all complain about life, its injustice, its pointlessness. blah blah.

2007-06-16T23:59:00.000+08:00

i really dislike digging up memories.

especially if you end up thinking of the "what if"s

or the "should've"s

and now there's two things i wish i had done.

and it's funny how the brain and heart can conflict.

i want my brain to win.

2007-06-15T01:43:00.001+08:00

i was intending to blog. but its too late now.

i'm hoping for something.

i'm working hard for it, so i think.

i hope i get it.

2007-06-03T22:42:00.000+08:00

cant say im insulted.

just put off.

didnt know she's that haughty and obnoxious.

not talking bout today.

today was a great day.

i'm happy anyways.

2007-06-03T02:05:00.000+08:00

strings concert was pretty good.

bird is zai.

and nothing beats chilling out with friends.

almost.

2007-06-01T02:02:00.000+08:00

what we need now, is a j1 party.

and i know just who should organise it.

i've got a list of people, but not everyone.

it would be cool, if 10 were invited, and everyone brought along another friend.

dun you think so, yirui?

2007-05-28T20:32:00.000+08:00

haha, i realised my last post was really exaggerated.

but i guess it means alotcause it's the first team comp i ever went for. lol.

last two days have been pretty great.

had a great lunch on sunday, followed by catching pirates at cine. lol.

some interesting things happened at wisma's starbucks.

some pleasant some rude.
surprises are good.

ok today was pretty nice. had training at first but like only 6 of us went. but nvm.

tyh has being himself again. i think he would be a nice guy if he just tried.

was abt to get screwed if not for michelle and suihui. lol. stupid blue shorts.

so we saw some interesting things at the canteen.
talk abt two timing man.

went to the airport to see off the vietnam trip ppl.

was supposed to be a surprise but i think they found out. lol.

oh but they were damn nice.

thks for the cake guys!

well now the bulk of the fun and enthu floorballers have left.

it's time for some studying.

2007-05-27T00:17:00.000+08:00

ok let's talk abt the raffles open.

DAMN HAPPY.

lol. it'll probly rank among one of the best presents ever.

well it wasnt really a present but considering the circumstances, it's pretty nice.

so line 1 played together again today.

first match was against the rj team1

won them like 3-1. played like shit though.

then ij 1,
won 2-1. was really really close. they were pretty good. scored one.

then finally nj 1.
was the final match for the group stages. think we were like pretty off for the start. conceded two. but WE FOUGHT BACK. lol. dennis scored one, then i came in and managed to score 2. jt finished up by scoring our fourth.

we went into semi-finals. played against vj 3, aka line2 aka twin's team.

was damn scary.

remember we went down like 2-0 or 2-1. was really scary cause the twin are really really really that good. and their passing is so much better. lol. thankfully my turns worked out find. was lucky enough to score 3. could've gone either way. both team had a penalty chance too. though both did not score. was a tense match. 3-2

then into the finals. was a round robin style.

cause there were 3 groups to begin with. so 3 semi-final matchs. then each of the winners would play a round robin as finals.

played rj5 first. they were good. so many of their shots were very accurate. i swear if not for edward's rock-solid defence, we would have conceded alot. remember we went 1-0 up thks to a great early goal by dennis. then they pulled by via a nice shot. then like time was almost up and we were damn stress. then like i tried doing a turn and somehow the shot went in. lol. was very tense esp towards the end where the opposing team were shotting quite alot and putting alot of pressure. and i think the support from our vj bench was very much a driving force.
2-1.

then it came to our final match. a draw at least would win us the tournament.

ij3 were really really good. and already like the other vj guys were warning us how imba and good they were. i tot they were really good too. really respect the red shirt-ed guy. caleb? if im not wrong. he's been playing for like 3 yrs and i tell you, he is reall really good. haha. we conceded early. it was a fast and good shot by them. but like the vj peeps were really supportive and all. really really helped. dennis pulled us back. and finally he gave a perfect pass on goal. managed to pick it up and push it simply into goal. was damn scary and all, but had to keep telling myself to not panic and screw up ath. i swear if i missed that the team would kill me and all. end 2-1.

we actually won.

it means alot man.

well. then right after that was some exhibition match.

against the national women's team. some of the pro rj ppl joined them too. like the orange shirt guy. was such a priviledge (spg) to be able to play with them man. and i tell you they are that them good. i mean yeah they are the national team, but like it was really exceeding expectations-ish. they're passes were great. and jill quek was fantastic. i remember she had a great individual goal.was like turn-turn-turn and poom. goal. siah lah. everyone was like woah. lol. got owned for the first bit. then like we got j heng on and another rj guy. was good. then the twins came on. so twins and rj guy. was pretty nice. zamir scored one! then dennis came in for zamir. he worked well with the rj guy, then they rj guys scored a nice goal. was good passing with the two. then line 1 came back on. so jt me and dennis. we managed to get back in the game. was so impressed with them. and then the most honouring thing. lol i manged to score! was like going up the left flank and then i did a turn. 270? anyways it freaking went in. was damn damn shocked! lol. i dunno, but also heard from the guys that it was against jill quek. lol. i think she gave chance lah. lol. was. such. an. honour. all in all i think we drew 3-3. but the guys said we won 3-2. so i dunno. lol.

long day.

but, congrats line one!

raffles open CHAMPS.

good job!

2007-05-27T00:13:00.000+08:00

NADDY! .<3 i like big pretty unpoppable balloons (: says:
and if going by friendster, happy birthday you shitzo.
NADDY! .<3 i like big pretty unpoppable balloons (: says:
okay i shall sing in my terribly sexy sore throat damn pain voice
NADDY! .<3 i like big pretty unpoppable balloons (: says:
one two three
NADDY! .<3 i like big pretty unpoppable balloons (: says:
happy bithday to youuu
NADDY! .<3 i like big pretty unpoppable balloons (: says:
you were born in the zoo
NADDY! .<3 i like big pretty unpoppable balloons (: says:
i saw a big one pack monkeyyyy
NADDY! .<3 i like big pretty unpoppable balloons (: says:
who looked exactly like
NADDY! .<3 i like big pretty unpoppable balloons (: says:
YOUUUUUUUUU

champs says:
....swine

thks nadia. you're such a nice friend ta have.

thks to mark, yirui and drea for the wishes :D

2007-05-20T01:05:00.000+08:00

there are many things that are really out of our hands.

i guess the most important thing is to not have any regrets.

the only way to do so, is to know that you've done everything that you ever could.

2007-05-16T00:09:00.000+08:00

somethings never change.

and sorry if i'm unhappy.

if you lame me for not being there when i'm told there'd be nth going on.

and how can you blame me when you didn't even try calling me?

even though i've already been mis-informed.

is there such a word as mis-informed?

anyways it's a good thing she's a nice and sweet girl. reasonable and smart too.
and this is why i said they made a right choice in voting.

trust me.

in any case, we gotta be fair to everyone.

2007-05-15T23:43:00.000+08:00

wat a day.

rained just before i walked out.

got to sch with like a half wet shirt and a fully wet pants.

went to try to hug mark but he had already dried himself so yeah.

ended up having to wear an orientation tee for the whole day.

and that's one reason why i was in my jacket the whole day.
well it was cold too, but yeah.

in anycase i got a pleasant surprise today.

saying hi and smiling is never a bad thing.

many things happened today.

mostly good.

2007-05-15T00:17:00.000+08:00

and mark rocks cause he appreciates darius danesh.

lol.

gd taste in music and girls mark.

:P

2007-05-14T23:51:00.000+08:00

i realised that the goo goo dolls are really too darn emo.

today's match support was hockey girls' semis.

vj won ac 4-0.

saw sammie. and a few ppl i used to know.

used to know. siah lah.

anyways everyone keeps asking me that same damn qns.

i really dun like answering such stuff.

mind you 7 times in 3 days IS too much.

i realise that things (/people) start to lose their appeal to me after i know more abt it (/them).

either that, or after the general popular starts getting attracted to it.

more of the latter.

yes essentially i admit that it did appeal.

somewhat.

2007-05-14T02:36:00.000+08:00

and her life was a show.

they didnt care.

they just watched,
laughed,
talked.

they went to bed, and the very next day,

they forgot who she was.

2007-05-14T00:45:00.000+08:00

full day.

please.

2007-05-12T04:47:00.000+08:00

i don't see why i always end up staying up so late.

was a very disappointing day today.

but i think everyone did their best.

everyone.

saw sammie today too.

she and debbie.

both look fine.
hope they're doing well.

2007-05-10T23:52:00.000+08:00

found time.

if coach uses two lines,

then there'll only be 8 main players.

if coach plays diamond,
and if there're only two lines,

then there'll only be two slots for forwards.

happy new year.

the week's been bad.

here's where you say, "so wat?"

2007-05-09T23:15:00.000+08:00

i wish i had time to blog.

now again i find myself, so far down.
away from the sun.

i used to remember asong that sounds sth like that.

someone enlighten me.

2007-05-01T23:35:00.000+08:00

sometimes you will never see the things you're blessed with until you lose it.

i really hope i remember that.

sometimes you get too drawn into the things you think you see.

and get screwed when you're finally into it.

that's why i'll never date a model.

2007-04-28T23:35:00.000+08:00

today i think the floorball guys played fantastically well.

i think it's the best friendly we have ever played so far.

as essentially as a team, i think we have come very far, and improved alot.

well guys, it took us two months to get here.

let's make the next two even better.

won MI 14-7.

really proud of the guys.